Forbidden Romance
by x.Chrissy.x
Summary: Duty, honor and loyalty doomed Hermione and Draco's relationship during their last year at Hogwarts. 5 years later, will duty, honor and loyalty still keep them apart? EWE. Dramione
1. Prologue

**A/N: First the usual, I don't own Harry Potter or anything associated to it.**

**Second, I know I have two unfinished stories, but this has come into my head and I'm hoping this fixes my writers block. I already have the first 4 chapters + prologue written, so hopefully I'll be able to update fairly often. Depending on comments, the story may evolve some. :) Please review, let me know what you think.**

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><p><strong>Forbidden Romance<strong>

**Prologue**

_Night before graduation_

Hermione stared at him, disbelief written all over her face. "What do you mean you're leaving the country?" She looked all over his face, looking for a semblance of a joke, a cruel joke of course, but a joke nonetheless. But she found none. His pale face was drawn, as if resigned to his fate. Even strands of his normally perfect blond hair was getting into his eyes and he did nothing to fix it.

Draco looked down, a piece of parchment in his hand. "My father wrote to inform me that we will be leaving for the continent after graduation. He feels our chances of recovering our wealth are better there." He said, raising his eyes to meet hers. "We knew that we couldn't keep this up after graduation, Hermione." He whispered. He felt the emotions welling in him, something he had never felt before. He knew that he had come to care for her, but never had he imagined that the thought of being apart would feel like a physical wound. It felt like a piece of him was suddenly lost.

Hermione felt the tears well in her eyes, but she fought them back determinedly. "I know. I know that." She said, forcefully. "But I thought that…at least, if we both worked in London, or something…" She trailed off knowing that there never was any plan after graduation. Her heart sank as she realized there was nothing to be done, nothing that she could do. She felt helpless and heart broken but most of all, she felt hopeless.

Draco took her hand in his free one, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand. He looked at her sadly, the fire lighting up her features. Her brown hair was tamed into waves and her chocolate eyes filling with unshed tears. They sat on the couch in the Head's common room, facing each other, Hermione staring at her lap. They never anticipated that the year's Head Boy and Head Girl would fall secretly in love. Who could have given their differences and backgrounds? But somewhere between being potion partners, patrolling the halls and working on school projects the two had put aside their differences at first for their grades, and then for their tentative friendship and finally for love. But right from the beginning, they both knew that it would always be a secret. They both knew that Draco would do his family duty and rebuild his family name just like Hermione would do her war hero duty and help with the rebuilding effort after graduation. And they both knew neither would be accepted into the other's life.

"Listen, maybe this is for the best. Maybe we need to be apart." Draco said softly as he squeezed her hand gently. He was grasping for straws and they both knew it.

Her eyes looked back up at his silver ones and she nodded slightly. "This is much harder than I thought it would be." She choked out. "Even though we knew what would happen from the beginning, this still hurts."

Draco closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. "I know it is." The words about necessity and duty never made it out of his mouth as he leaned forward and placed a kiss on her lips, putting all he was feeling into that bit of contact. He could feel the warm tears splash on his cheeks that she finally couldn't hold back and pulled away.

"You'll let me know if you come back, right?" She sniffed, trying to control her free flowing tears.

Draco nodded. "Of course, love." He said as he pulled her towards him.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

_5 years later_

"Hermione, you've been staring at that parchment for the past thirty minutes." Harry said exasperatedly.

Hermione stared at the letter, partly in disbelief and partly stunned. There was one simple sentence written: I'm coming back. It was in his handwriting, she was sure, but she was surprised there was no detail, no mention of meeting up, not even a date. She hadn't heard from him in 5 years and all she got was 4 simple words.

Harry took the parchment out of her hands and placed it on the table. "Hermione, I won't pretend I understand what happened between you and Malfoy…" He practically spat his name. "…nor do I understand why his return would put you in a near catatonic state, but you need to get ready to leave for Hogwarts." He took her hand and faced her towards him. "Come on, now." He said gently.

Hermione shook her head and focused her eyes on Harry. "Yes, you're right. In fact, it doesn't even matter that he's returning." She said determinedly. She wouldn't let him waltz back into her life 5 years later and take it over. She had moved on. Right?

"Now, there's no need for lies." Harry said softly. "Though, I still don't understand what he has to do with us not dating."

Hermione smiled knowingly at him. "The same thing Ginny has to do with us not dating."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Ginny made it clear years ago that when she joined the Holyhead Harpies, she didn't want a relationship. And she made it clear that she didn't want me." He said, crossing his arms defensively. "And from what you've told me, Malfoy left you, too. You've been my best friend since we were 11. We've been there for each other through thick and thin." His eyes softened as he tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear. "We're perfect for one another, Hermione. I just wish you'd see it."

Hermione sighed but let what he said sink in. It wasn't the first time she'd heard it. In fact, for the past year, Harry had been trying to convince her to give dating a try. And it wasn't that she didn't want to. He was right, they had been through everything with each other and never once did they waver in their devotion to each other. But there was always something in the back in her mind, making her hesitate, not just from dating Harry but from seriously dating anyone; a pale blond haired something, in fact.

She gave him a soft smile and reached out for his hand. "I know, Harry." She said sincerely. "Maybe once I see him, I'll realize you're right and I have no reason to hesitate. Just give me the chance to see him, ok? It just had such an open ending, maybe I just need closure."

Harry melted at her smile. "Alright, Hermione. You're certainly worth waiting for." In the back of his mind, he worried that she might rekindle feelings for the blond ferret but if that was the case; her happiness is what mattered to him most. But that didn't mean he wouldn't fight for her if he needed to. If he had a chance, he'd fight 'til the end. "Now, let me accompany to you back to school, Professor?" He teased.

Hermione blushed. "I can't believe I got the job, Harry. I'm going to be the transfiguration teacher."

When Minerva McGonagall asked her if she wanted to be considered for the post, she thought it was a long shot. But once she said yes, Minerva offered her the job on the spot.

"Alright, let's go. I'll grab these two trunks, you grab your bags and we'll floo to McGonagall's office." Harry said, taking hold of the trunks next to her fireplace. "Do you have everything?"

Hermione looked around her mostly empty flat. She would only be coming back here for the summers and holidays. "Yep, let's go." She grabbed some floo powder and stepped through the bright green flames.

"Miss Granger, I mean, Professor Granger, how nice to see you!" Minerva said, as Hermione walked through. "And Mr. Potter! What a lovely surprise. Please put your bags down, the elves will take them to your quarters." She said, gesturing to a spot on the ground. She quickly enveloped Hermione into a hug and patted Harry's shoulder affectionately. "I am ever so glad that you decided to take the position. I know that you will do a marvelous job."

"Thank you for having me, Headmistress." Hermione said, feeling a bit nostalgic standing in the Headmistress' office. "I will certainly do my best."

"Of that, I have no doubt." She said, giving Harry a wink. "Well, let me show you to your quarters and staff dinner will be at 6. The children arrive on Monday." She turned around and walked briskly down the stairs and down the hallway. "We have a few new professors this year but of course you will meet everyone at dinner. I left your class schedule on your desk in your room and a copy of each of the required textbooks for each year. You are, of course, welcome to change the textbooks to one of your choosing, however these are the ones that I have used previously." Minerva talked as fast as she walked and soon they were standing in front of a large wooden door. "As of right now, there are no wards or spells on your room as I assumed you would like to place them yourself."

Hermione smiled. "Yes, in fact, I would." She said as she walked through the door. There was a large fireplace with a couple of comfy looking chairs in front of it. To the right was a small kitchenette and a door leading to the bathroom. On the left was a desk with ample bookshelves lining the wall and a door leading to her bedroom. The room wasn't overly large but seemed to be suited perfectly to her. The carpet was plush and a neutral beige color and the walls were white with a few sparse paintings.

"You are welcome to change the color of the rooms to whatever you wish and hang up anything you like. It's your space and may treat it as such. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask. Your floo is already hooked up." She glanced at her watch then made for the door. "I'm afraid I have other professors to meet. Make yourself at home and I'll see you at supper. Nice to see you again, Mr. Potter." She said as she walked out the door, closing it behind her.

Harry looked around while nodding his head in appreciation. "It's certainly roomy."

Hermione smiled. "And it has a lot of book shelves." She said, nodding her head towards the wall.

"It's almost like she thought you'd have a lot of books or something. I can't fathom why, though." He teased as Hermione swatted him.

"Alright Harry, I need to get settled and ready for the staff dinner." She said, making a checklist in her head.

Harry smiled. "I can tell when I'm no longer wanted." He said as he walked towards the floo. "Let me know how everything goes."

"I will. I'll floo you tomorrow." She promised as she stood next to the large fireplace.

Harry bent over and kissed her on the cheek. "Good night, Hermione."

"G'night Harry." She said as he walked through a wall of green flames.

She looked around and started to unpack all of her things. Soon there were books on the bookshelves, a couple of paintings on the wall and a nice warm beige coloring to the walls. She sat down at her desk and took a good look at her class schedule, memorizing the times and students for each class. It didn't seem too bad: 1st, 3rd and 6th years on Monday and Wednesday; 2nd, 4th, 5th and 7th years on Tuesday and Thursday; and 5th and 7th years on Friday since those were exam years. By the time she looked up again, she was almost late for dinner and rushed out the door.

She stopped in front of the Great Hall and caught her breath, winded from rushing down so many stairs. It was amazing how much she remembered about the castle and all the corridors still felt familiar. She tucked a few loose strands of hair behind her ear and walked through the doors towards the staff table. She came to a standstill when she saw the pale blond head sitting at the table.

"Ah, Professor Granger, right on time. Please sit down." Minerva motioned towards the empty seat next to her. "We were just about to do introductions."

Hermione shook her head to clear it and then walked towards the table slowly. She sat down, all the while staring at the blonde across from her, who for some reason would not look back at her.

"Let me introduce our new transfiguration professor, Hermione Granger." Minerva said, introducing her to the table. "Also new this year is Terry Boot, our charms professor and Draco Malfoy, our potions professor." She said, motioning to each one in turn. "Please help me in giving them a warm welcome to Hogwarts."

Everyone politely clapped and she continued introducing the existing professors, including Neville Longbottom, the herbology professor.

Hermione couldn't focus on anything anyone said for the entire dinner. She nodded her head when appropriate and managed to eat what was on her plate. However, for the most part, all she could do was stare at Draco, who seemed to be putting an incredible effort into not acknowledging her. When dinner finally ended, she watched as he practically ran out of the room and she followed closely, mumbling her goodbyes.

"Draco!" She called down the hall after him and she saw him tense and for a moment she thought he was going to run but he stopped and turned around slowly.

"Yes?" He asked coolly.

Hermione stopped in front of him, slight taken aback by his cool attitude. "You came back." She whispered, almost not believing her eyes.

Draco sighed. "Yes, I did." He offered nothing else and Hermione could feel the struggle between annoyance and joy within her.

She struggled with her next words but instead threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "I've missed you."

Immediately, he tensed up and extracted himself from her. He looked at her with softness in his eyes as he saw her confusion. "Hermione…" He started and then sighed again. "Look, I came back because I'm engaged."

Hermione's eyes widened as she took a step back from him. "Oh." She crossed her arms in front of her, feeling foolish for hugging him. "To who?" She asked, not really caring who the girl was.

"Astoria Greengrass." He answered quickly and offering no explanation.

"Is she a pureblood?" She asked, more bitterly than she would have liked.

Draco hesitated before answering. "Of course."

Hermione nodded her head sharply. She could feel the tears well up in her eyes and decided to leave before they made an appearance. "Well, congratulations on the position…and the engagement." She said as she attempted to keep her composure. She nodded her head again, turned on her heel and left him in the hallway.

Draco watched her flee, a tightness building in his chest. "I'm sorry, Hermione." He whispered, loud enough only for him to hear.

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><p><strong>AN: Here's the first chapter, I thought the prologue was too short to keep up by itself. I'm trying to keep myself writing and keep myself ahead of my posting so that I always have something to upload. Please review, it really helps! Thanks! ~Chrissy**


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"_Draco, come in here." Lucius commanded from behind his desk. _

_Draco paused in front of the open door he was passing in front of before turning and entering the study. The study was a small one, big enough for a few bookshelves and a large desk. The desk was cluttered with ink wells and parchment and Lucius sat behind it as if it was the grandest desk that had ever graced his presence. Draco stood 3 feet in front of the desk with his hands clasped behind his back and waited for his father to continue._

_Lucius gave his son a once over, taking in his slightly long blond hair and dark clothing. "We are going back to England." He said slowly. He watched Draco's eyebrows rise slightly but saw no other emotion cross his face. "I think we have spent enough time in exile and have recouped enough money to re-enter society."_

_Draco nodded his head while he celebrated internally. He had missed England and his friends and…well, someone else. "As you wish, father." He answered stoically, no emotion betraying him._

"_When we return, you will be engaged." Lucius stated, watching his son carefully. "It is a very good match and they have agreed to help us re-enter society with grace." He saw the brief, nearly non-existent disappointment flit over his son's face but was quickly schooled back into control. _

_Draco felt his heart sink and his stomach drop but he resisted the emotions and willed his face to stay emotionless. "And who is it that I am to be engaged to?"_

"_Astoria Greengrass. She's a pretty enough pureblood but more importantly, her family has risen in pureblood ranks and guarantees us success at our return." He answered, while he leaned back in his chair. He watched Draco's impassive face and his mouth formed a thin line at what he had seen of his son's reaction. "Will there be a problem?"_

_Draco's eyes met his father's and held them in a steady gaze. "Of course not, father. I'll do my duty to the family."_

_Lucius gave a curt nod. "Good. We leave in a week. Be ready."_

_Draco took that as his dismissal and walked out of the study and down the hallway. His first thought being about how he'd write to a certain someone of his return._

o.o.o.o.o.o

Draco sighed as he put the piece of parchment down on his desk. It was another forced letter from his forced fiancée that said how happy she was that they were going to help their families, hers monetarily of course, and that she couldn't wait until he came home for the holidays. He resisted the urge to violently rip up the letter and throw it into the fireplace.

The students would arrive the next day and he did a fairly good job at avoiding Hermione since his first night there; not that he wasn't sure she was avoiding him too. He saw the hurt look on her face that night and it wasn't something he wanted to live through again. Hadn't he hurt her enough? He had promised himself that he would treat her the same as any other witch. He would be cold yet polite, civil yet aloof. Hadn't he perfected that attitude over the past few years?

He left his quarters to head to the last staff dinner without students, his mind going through the following day's schedule when he heard her laugh. _Her_ laugh was one that he would never forget. He slowed, not really wanting to know what or who could cause her to laugh when he no longer could. He turned the corner and felt stomach drop to his feet. He was certain that the image of Harry Potter embracing Hermione was one that was now etched forever in his mind. And the repulsion really hit when he saw said boy lower his head and kiss her.

With a low growl, he stalked towards the couple and grabbed her arm out of the other boy's grasp. "Excuse me; I need to talk with you." He practically snarled as he pulled her away.

"Hey! Get your hands off of her!" Harry yelled, as he pulled out his wand.

Hermione wrestled herself free of Draco's grip. "It's fine, Harry. I'll meet you after dinner, alright? I need to talk to Draco about some class stuff anyway." She said, trying to smooth things over. Why she was saving Draco from being hexed was beyond her, but the words just tumbled out of her mouth.

Harry nodded slowly and gave a small smile. "Ok, I'll see you in your quarters after dinner." He said as he hesitantly pocketed his wand.

Draco practically growled again but then Hermione followed him to an empty class room.

As soon as she closed the door behind her, he rounded back on her. "What the bloody hell was that?" Draco yelled, unable to control his anger.

Hermione's eyes narrowed into slits as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. "And explain to me, exactly why I have to tell you anything? I don't owe you a damn thing, Draco Malfoy!"

"So, is that what you did? You ran off with the bloody war hero? Did you even wait a month after graduation?" He screamed, unable to get the picture out of his head.

Hermione clenched her jaw and balled her fists. "It doesn't matter when I started dating Harry! You ran off to the continent! You never had any contact with me for 5 years! And may I remind you that you are _engaged_!"

Draco paused for a moment. He was, in fact, engaged. And he was doing exactly the opposite of what he said he would do. He squashed his anger and silently cursed himself for his emotional outburst. He quickly schooled his face back to its normally blank state and looked at her once again. "You're right. Excuse me, I was out of line." He said, trying to flee the classroom as quickly as possible.

However, Hermione had another plan in her head. "Oh, no you don't. I deserve some answers after that outburst." She had planted herself in front of the door and there was no way around her without physically moving her.

Draco crossed his arms and glared at her. "And what answers might that be?"

"What are you doing here?" Hermione asked, her eyes softening slightly.

Draco rolled his eyes. "I teach potions. Have you lost some of your mental capabilities since I last saw you?"

Hermione huffed. "I _know_ that. But I also know that you don't need a job. So, why are you here, Draco?"

Draco shifted his weight on to his right foot. He refused to tell her the real reason, he took the position. He shifted his face into a bored look before he answered. "My father thought it would make our family look better if I took a position here. Teaching young minds and rot like that."

"Is everything you do for your family, Draco? When will you actually live your life for yourself?" She asked quietly. "When will you stop living for other people?"

Draco could feel his temper rising again. "I have a duty to my family. It is an honor to have the opportunity to right my family name." He bit out.

Hermione shook her head. "But what about your duty to yourself?"

"You don't know what you're talking about!" He yelled and pushed her out of the way of the door before fleeing the room.

Forgetting about dinner, he practically ran back to his quarters, slamming the door behind him. Who did she think she was, questioning him like that? Didn't she know that family duty went above all things? No, of course she didn't, that was the burden of a pureblood. And if there was one thing for certain, it was that he was a pureblood, through and through.

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><p><strong>AN: Man, this has got to be one of the most depressing fics I have ever wrote. Who knows, maybe I'll be able to change it up a bit...or maybe not. I haven't decided yet. :) Please review and let me know what you think. :)**

**~Chrissy**


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Hermione entered her quarters completely drained from the events of the night. By the time she entered the great hall for dinner, they were halfway done with their meal. While no one asked why she was late, she knew that her tardiness was being correlated with an absent staff member. She ate as quickly as possible and practically ran out of the hall when the meal was over. All she wanted now was to relax and not completely analyze tonight like she knew she would do.

"Is everything ok?" Hermione jumped at the sound and saw Harry looking over the back of his chair at her, a concerned look on his face.

"Oh! Harry!" She said, a bit surprised. "Yes, yes, everything is fine." She said as she walked over to him.

Harry stood up and looked her over carefully. "Are you sure? What was all that about with Malfoy?"

Hermione gave him a weak smile. "I'm sure. He was just surprised at seeing us together, that's all." She said as she slumped down into a chair.

"And why would he care? You told me that he's engaged." Harry asked, confusion clouding his eyes.

Hermione sighed. "He is engaged. I don't know, Harry."

Harry sat back down across from her and smiled at her. "It's alright, Hermione. Do you want me to go straighten him out and tell him you're with me now? I can bring a few aurors with me." He teased lightly, trying to coax a smile out of her.

Hermione's eyebrows lifted. "Harry, I'm not sure that I'm ready…" She trailed off.

Harry chuckled. "I know, Hermione. You've told me. Take it slowly and all that. I was just teasing you. I'm just glad you're giving me a chance at all."

Hermione relaxed and smiled. "Sorry Harry, I'm just a little wound up, I suppose."

Harry stood and helped Hermione onto her feet and pulled her into a hug. "Why don't you go take a bath and relax? You have a big day tomorrow. How about we go out for dinner on Friday night and you can tell me all about your first week?" He suggested, holding her close.

Hermione closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "That sounds lovely, Harry."

Harry moved away and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. "I'll see you then, Hermione. Have a good first day of school."

Hermione smiled and waved to him as he disappeared into the green flames.

She trudged her way over to her bathroom and started the bath, filling the room with the scent of lavender. As she lowered herself into the water, she felt her muscles finally relax and her mind blissfully blank.

o.o.o.o.o.o

The Great Hall was full of chattering students and to her dismay she found that her seat was next to Draco's with Terry on the other side of her. The sorting went quickly and soon the Headmistress was doing her speech.

"Welcome back students for what I'm sure will be an enriching and successful school year. Let me introduce you to our new professors. Teaching charms this year is Professor Boot." The students clapped politely as Terry waved from his seat. "Teaching potions this year is Professor Malfoy." At that, the Slytherin students clapped loudly while the rest clapped weakly. "And finally, our new transfiguration professor is Professor Granger." The hall erupted with applause; all having heard tales of the war hero. "Now, please remember, the forbidden forest is still forbidden and Mr. Filch has a list of prohibited items posted on his door. I wish you all a productive year and look to your heads and prefects for direction."

Soon, the prefects were told to lead the students to their common rooms and they filed out of the hall fairly quickly. Hermione had been on her way back to her quarters when she heard his footsteps fall in line with hers.

"Quite the welcome, professor." Hermione turned her head at the comment and noticed the smirk on his face.

Hermione blushed. "It's nothing." She said quickly, hastening her step.

"How modest, too." He said snidely, his right eyebrow arching.

Hermione huffed. "Why are you talking to me?"

"Am I not allowed to?" He asked, matching her step for step.

"Well, other than your outburst yesterday, you hadn't really been talkative." She pointed out.

Draco scowled. "I didn't have anything to say." He hated being reminded of the night before. He once again scolded himself for losing control of his emotions. "How long have you been with Potter?" The question fell out of his mouth without warning, and he cursed inwardly.

"That's not really any of your business." Hermione answered coolly. "But, we're taking it slow."

Draco raised an eyebrow. "What does that mean?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "And how long have you been engaged?" She shot back instead of answering the question.

"2 weeks." He answered, succinctly.

Hermione was slightly taken aback, not expecting such a short period of time. "Oh. How long have the two of you been together?" She asked, not wanting to know the answer, but unable to stop herself.

"2 weeks." He answered again, his voice devoid of emotion.

Hermione stopped and turned towards him. "2 weeks? What do you mean, 2 weeks?" She said aghast.

Draco faced her and cocked his head to the side slightly. "I mean, 2 weeks. What's so difficult to understand?"

Hermione quickly grasped what he said and she took a quick intake of breath. "Is your engagement arranged?"

Draco looked at her impassively. "So?"

Hermione shook her head sadly. "Draco…" She said as she reached out to touch his arm.

Draco jerked back. "I don't need your pity, Granger." He practically spat out the sentence. "I am fulfilling my family duty."

Hermione scowled. "Duty isn't everything, Draco. "

Draco's eyebrows knitted together and he flared at her. "You wouldn't understand."

"Is it worth it? Are you really going to let every aspect of your life be dictated by everyone else?" She asked, her temper getting the better of her.

Draco could feel his anger rising. "Of course it's worth it! I wouldn't do it if it wasn't worth it! I am better off for it!"

"Are you better off without me?" The words came out of her mouth without thought or warning and she clasped her hands over her mouth immediately afterwards.

Draco looked at her and felt his anger deflate. "I wouldn't do it if it wasn't worth it." He said slowly, trying to convince himself of that statement as much as her.

She looked at him sadly, not believing a word he said but knowing that his stubbornness wouldn't let him say otherwise. "Good night, Draco." She said quietly, turning from him and continuing on her way.

She heard the footsteps before she felt his hand and before she knew it, she was spun around and his lips crashed upon hers. She melted at the feeling and all too soon, she was once again alone in the hallway, his retreating figure already down the hall.

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><p><strong>AN: So far so good on getting ideas down on paper. What do you guys think? It's gonna be a messy road for these two, I can tell already! Please review! It makes it easier to write. :) ~Chrissy**


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Draco entered his chambers and practically screamed in frustration. What made him kiss her like that and why didn't she push him away? He paced his room briskly, trying to make sense of everything. With another growl of frustration, he found himself back in the hallway and striding quickly down to Hermione's door. Her quarters were only 4 doors down from his.

He was about to knock on the door when he heard her approach. "What do you want, Draco?" Apparently, he had beaten her back to her quarters.

He turned and saw her, her cheeks were flushed and she stopped a few feet away from him, unsure of his purpose here.

"I, uh, I just wanted to say…" He stuttered, trying to figure out what exactly it was that he wanted to say. He looked at her and she met his eyes with a look of confusion that was plain as day.

She stepped closer to the door and unlocked it. "Well, then Draco, if you have nothing to say, then good night, again." She said as she opened her door.

The sight of her leaving sprung him into action and he pushed her into her quarters. Before she could protest, he found his lips once again finding hers. He held her close and kissed her as if he couldn't bear to leave her again and in that moment, he couldn't.

But this time, she pushed back. "Draco, what are you doing? You're engaged…" She said as she pulled away from him, not far enough to break the embrace but enough to look into his face.

"I took it for you." He said, the words rushing out.

Hermione looked at him bewildered. "What?"

"You asked me before, why I took the position here when I didn't need it." He answered, looking at her. "I took it because I knew you would be here."

He lowered his head once again and this time she didn't fight him. She felt elated at knowing that he had returned for her and turned off the part of her brain that was yelling that he was spoken for. She felt him pick her up and carry her to her bedroom and all she could think about was how this felt right, how this felt like home.

Draco savored every moment and when he dropped her on the bed he didn't break contact with her, afraid that the moment he did, reality would come rushing back and that wasn't something that he wanted. He had missed this, more than he could have ever anticipated. He had missed her. And he showed her in every way he knew how.

o.o.o.o.o.o

Hermione awoke to the sound of her alarm, a combination of a muggle clock and magic to make it work without electricity, reminding her that it was time to get ready for her first day of classes. She stretched and turned off the buzzing contraption, when she realized that she was naked. The memories of the night before filled her mind and she looked over to see that the other side of the bed was empty and cold. Tears stung her eyes but she quickly reminded herself that she shouldn't be surprised and that's what she got for sleeping with an engaged man.

She pushed the covers off her and grabbed her robe on the way to the bathroom, determined that she would have a successful first day and not be distracted by Draco Malfoy.

She sat at her desk waiting for her first class of 5th years to arrive. She shuffled her papers around but her mind kept drifting to last night, the feeling of being whole, the feeling of being loved. She felt a brief stinging in her heart when a flash of Harry came to her mind and she realized even more that the night was a mistake. A cough caught her attention and when she looked at her classroom she realized everyone was there and staring at her. She felt a blush work up her cheeks and shook her head to clear it.

She jumped up from her desk, reprimanding herself for becoming distracted and waved her wand at the board – putting up the notes for the day. "Good morning everyone." She said as she regained her composure. "Welcome to transfiguration. I am Professor Granger and I am looking forward to a splendid year with you all. Please open your books to page 10; we will be starting with a simple spell." She smiled as she felt herself enter her groove and the nervousness slip away.

Before she knew it, she was done with her day, all her classes done with. She smiled as she reviewed the classes, the only one she had any trouble with was the 2nd year Gryffindor and Slytherins and that was only because of that time in everyone's life known as puberty. The 7th years were all very serious about their N.E. and she was excited to teach them spells that would be challenging and engaging.

It wasn't until she entered the great hall for dinner that she remembered the events of the night before. She sat at her seat, too aware of the man next to her. Her skin tingled just being in close proximity to him. She smiled at everyone and grabbed a biscuit as the bowl came around. The great hall was full of noise, the students unaware of the tension between her and her neighbor.

"How was your first day of classes, Hermione?" Neville asked, a few seat over from her.

Hermione turned her head and smiled at him. "They were good, Neville. How about you?" She felt bad that she hadn't spoken to him since she arrived, but life had certainly been hectic.

"It's my second year, so I was better prepared." He answered. Neville had changed the most out of everyone she knew at Hogwarts. He had a mop of dark brown hair and was taller than most of their friends now. He had filled out and his arms were muscular from pulling on so many plants. She never thought that Neville Longbottom would turn out so well, but she would be hard pressed to find anyone who didn't think he was attractive.

"I'm looking forward to working with my 7th years. There are a couple of students that seem to have a lot of potential." She said, carrying on the conversation. "Perhaps some are even more studious than I was." She ignored the snort that came from the blond wizard next to her.

"Wow, you think so, Hermione?" Neville said, surprise on his face. "I can't imagine that, but I'll take your word for it."

Hermione nodded as she continued to eat her dinner. Conversation ranged from classes, to hobbies, to life in general and before she knew it dinner was over. She rose from her chair and walked with Neville out of the hall when she felt a hand grab her wrist.

"May I have a word with you?" Draco asked when she turned to look at him.

Hermione seriously considered saying no but then nodded her head. She didn't want to cause a scene, especially with the students still out and about. "I'll talk to you later, Neville." She said when Neville gave her a look asking if she really wanted to talk to Draco.

"Alright, Hermione. It was good catching up." He said as he turned and continued down the hall.

Draco and Hermione walked in silence until they came upon the staff's corridor, with no students in sight.

"Look, about last night…" Draco started when Hermione cut him off.

"It was a mistake. I know. You're engaged. I have…something…with Harry. Let's just forget it happened." She said quickly, afraid that she'd never get the words out if she hesitated.

Draco's shoulders slumped slightly but he nodded his head. "Right. So, have a good night, then." He said as he turned around.

She watched him walk down the hallway, wanting to yell out to him to stop. She wanted to run to him and embrace him. She shook her head. He was engaged. She was sort of dating Harry. She needed to move on.

She turned toward her side of the hallway and continued walking, a sinking feeling increasing with every step.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yea, it's gonna be a rough road for these two. I hope you enjoy it though. I'm enjoying writing again, so woohoo! Please review. Let me know how I'm doing. Thanks everyone who is reviewing! it means a lot to me. ~Chrissy**


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Hermione sat across from Harry at The Three Broomsticks, both drinking a butterbeer. She had hers clasped in her hands and constantly looked down at the white foam at the top of her glass.

"This almost reminds me of our Hogwarts days." Harry said, a look of reminiscence on his face.

Hermione nodded her head and looked up, refusing to meet his eyes. "A bit, doesn't it?" A smile not quite reaching her eyes.

Harry sighed and looked at his dining partner. "What's wrong, Hermione?" He asked, not knowing if he really wanted the answer.

"I'm just not sure about this, Harry." She said as a knot in her stomach formed. Memories of the night early in the week entered her head and the look of defeat on Draco's face at meal times replayed in her mind's eye.

"It's him, isn't it?" Harry asked bitterly, already knowing the answer.

"No! No, not really, Harry. I just, I'm just confused." Hermione stuttered as she looked back down at her drink.

Harry sighed again, his hand rubbing his scar, a force of habit he hadn't been able to get rid of when stressed. "You don't have to lie to me, Hermione."

Hermione looked up and saw the sadness on Harry's face. She frowned, hating the fact that she was hurting him. "I'm just confused." She mumbled, unable to say anything else.

"Damn it, Hermione! He's bloody engaged!" Harry yelled, unable to hold in the hurt. Hermione flinched but didn't say anything else. "You've been confused for the last 5 years, when are you going to let it go? You need to move on." He said a bit softer and a sad smile graced his face. "Even if it's not with me." He added, knowing that he just wanted to see her happy.

She knew he was right, but she couldn't let go. And the night they shared, well, she knew it was unhealthy but she still relived it in her mind. She was herself, she was free, she was happy when she was with him. He was taken. And she needed to wrap her unwilling mind around that. She thought that maybe giving Harry a chance would take her mind off of him. But she saw him every night while she saw Harry a couple of times a week. And she knew that he still wanted to be with her. His engagement was arranged. He didn't want it. But still, he was engaged. He agreed to it. And she needed to respect that. Right?

"Hermione?" Harry asked, breaking into her reverie.

Hermione jumped a little, her cheeks turning pink at being caught unaware. "Sorry Harry, I'm really sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me." She said, honestly. "But I know that I don't want to hurt you more while I try to figure it out."

Harry nodded and took a hold of her hand. "I know. And I'm still here, like I promised." He smiled at her. "Now, tell me about your first week of school."

Hermione smiled back, relief in her face. "Oh, it went quite well, Harry. The students are a really good lot this year. Even the Gryffindors and Slytherins got somewhat along. My 7th years are very bright and although it's a small class from all 4 houses, they work fairly well together." She answered, for the first time meeting his bright green eyes, happy to talk about her classes.

Harry smiled as she talked about her week, thankful that she finally found a job she liked and thrived at. Even if her personal life was still in tatters, it was good to know she found her calling professionally.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o

Draco ran a hand through his hair as he surveyed the two pieces of parchment in front of him. The first one was a letter from Astoria, the third he had received since he moved to Hogwarts 2 weeks ago. She chattered on about wedding planning and society events that she had been attending. She lamented on attending them alone but made sure to end with how she was looking forward to hearing from him. He felt bad for the girl; she really wasn't all that bad from what he had seen. She was doing her family duty, just like him, another pawn in the game of life. He put the letter to the side, unwilling to deal with his so-called engagement. He had been trying to avoid thinking about the topic as much as possible since arriving. Part of the reason he took the job, other than the obvious witch that was also here, was to get away from home.

The second letter, however, was far less cheerful and much more demanding.

_Draco,_

_Your wedding has been set for the second weekend of July. Things are going as planned. The Greengrasses are becoming inpatient with your lack of attention to their daughter. Write her. You do not have any time for distractions._

_LM_

Draco threw the letter on top of the previous one, unwilling to think about it for the moment. He knew he was right and would have to write to the girl soon. It would be ungentlemanly to not reply to so many letters. He sighed as he took out a fresh piece of parchment, trying to figure out what to write about. That he was looking forward to their upcoming wedding – hardly. That he couldn't wait to see her – that's a blatant lie. Perhaps something about how classes had gone and that he would be home for the holidays. He nodded his head and jotted a few lines to her, stating facts in a way that she might take them as complimentary to herself. He sent the letter off with his owl when he heard a soft knock at his door.

He opened it to find Hermione standing there, staring at the floor and nervously playing with her hands.

"May I help you?" He asked as she snapped her head up to look at him.

"I thought we could talk?" She asked, timidly, almost nervously.

He stood aside to let her in and she walked into the middle of the room, standing next to the couch that was in front of his fireplace. He closed the door and stood in front of her, looking at her expectantly.

"I lied." She said suddenly. Draco raised an eyebrow and she took that as her cue to keep going. "It wasn't a mistake. And I can't forget about it."

Draco felt his stomach flip and he took a step towards her, leaving a sliver of space between them. "Are you certain?" He asked, needing to know the answer.

Hermione nodded. "You're all I think about." She whispered.

"I'm engaged." He stated as if she might have forgotten.

"I know." She whispered, her voice betraying the shame she felt at admitting such a thing. The idea of being without him had become unbearable and before she knew what she was doing, she had been standing in front of his door.

That was all he needed to hear. Draco wrapped his arms around her and kissed her fiercely. His body responded with his need for her, his need to be with her, his need to stay with her. She kissed him back, wrapped her arms around his neck as if she was holding on to him for dear life. They pulled back from each other panting.

They looked at each other, neither speaking about the obvious, about the fact that this wouldn't change any of the circumstances. They drank each other in, forgetting about the world outside of the school. "Stay with me, tonight." Draco said huskily, his eyes deep silver with desire.

Hermione nodded and he scooped her up in his arms and took her to his bedroom.

When Draco awoke the next morning, he saw the other side of the bed was cold and empty. A sad smile crept onto his face, knowing that it would always be like this. One slipping from bed in the middle of the night so there are no aroused suspicions or unwanted run-ins while trying to get back to one's own quarters. He sighed as he lay back down onto his pillow and grabbed her pillow and pulled it to his face, inhaling the scent of lavender, the only evidence that she was there at all.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hey there! I'm not doing bad with updating but we'll see how long I can keep it up. PLEASE REVIEW! I'm starting to wonder if there's really any interest in the story. I'm trying! I hope you guys are enjoying it. It's a bit more angsty that I usually write. ~Chrissy**


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Hermione sat at her desk, reading the papers of her 6th year students when a face appeared in her fireplace.

"Hermione? You there?" The disembodied head asked from the green flames.

Hermione jumped a little at the voice and then a smile broke out on her face. "Ginny? Ginny!" She yelled as she leapt from her chair and towards the fireplace.

"Can I come through?"

"Absolutely! Come on through!" Hermione responded, excited to see her friend. She hadn't seen her in about a year and despite the fact that she wasn't with Harry, she was still the best female friend she had.

Ginny burst from the fireplace, wiping the residual soot off her clothes before hugging Hermione tightly. "Oh, it's so good to see you. My team just got into town for the match we're playing this weekend. I got your letter and you have to tell me everything that's going on!" She said, guiding her friend to the chairs.

Hermione sighed and nodded her head. "Well, it's been about 3 months now, since we, you know…" She trailed off.

"You've been sleeping with Malfoy for three months?" Ginny yelled. "Since you pretty much got here?"

Hermione nodded sheepishly. "I can't help it, Ginny. When I'm with him, I'm happy. I'm whole. I'm…I don't know how to describe it."

"You're desperate." Ginny added, shaking her head at her friend.

Hermione looked up at her aghast. "I am not desperate! I'm sure I could find someone else…"

"Well, yes, like a certain Harry Potter." Ginny added. "But obviously, you're desperate for a wizard who happens to be engaged."

Hermione blushed. "I know, it's terrible." She said sadly.

Ginny sighed and took her friends hand. "Oh, Hermione. Don't look like that; I'm sorry I said that. But really, where is this going? He's engaged. Aren't you tired of sneaking around in the middle of the night hoping to not get caught? Or what about trying not to be too obvious around other people? Or always looking who's around before meeting up?"

Hermione looked up at her friend in shock.

"It's not just you, darling. That's what everyone does when they're cheating on someone." She said bluntly. "And that's what Malfoy is doing. He's cheating on someone. You deserve better. You deserve someone who isn't hiding you. There is no future, Hermione."

Hermione could feel the tears starting to well up and she did her best to fight it. Ginny was telling her everything that she had been trying to ignore. She was telling her everything that she didn't want to believe. She was telling her of the world outside of the castle walls.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like an addiction." Hermione said, a tear falling down her cheek.

"Shh now. I know. It's hard. But this isn't healthy, Hermione. He needs to choose." Ginny said soothingly. "And you have a perfectly eligible wizard waiting for you." She said, referring to Harry. Ginny may not have been able to stay with him but she always wanted to see him happy. And she thought, like the rest of the wizarding world, that Hermione could make him happy. But unfortunately, she didn't know if Harry could make Hermione happy.

Hermione nodded. "I can't do this to Harry; not when I'm like this."

"You're right about that." Ginny agreed quickly. "So, after all these years, it's still Malfoy, huh?"

Hermione nodded again. "Apparently. Trust me, I've tried to fight it."

Ginny hugged her friend. "It'll be alright Hermione. But you need to stand up for yourself. You were not meant to be the other woman. You're meant to be loved. And if Malfoy can't do that, you need to find someone who will."

"You're right, Ginny. I know you are." Hermione said into the fabric of Ginny's shirt. She paused for a moment. "But what if he does love me?"

Ginny sighed. "If he loves you, then he should be with you. But what he's doing isn't loving, Hermione. It's causing pain to you, probably to him and to someone who doesn't even know."

Hermione thought about that. Astoria probably didn't know. She probably assumed that Draco was being faithful. "I'm rotten, aren't I? It takes two to cheat, doesn't it? I'm helping hurt someone I don't even know."

"You're not rotten, you just want to be with the man you love and he happens to be in an arranged engagement. You're in a rotten position. But you? You are nowhere near rotten." She comforted, allowing Hermione to sit back down.

"But I'm hurting someone I don't even know! I'm sleeping with a man who's taken." Hermione said, shaking her head.

A small smile slipped on Ginny's face. "Is he any good?"

Hermione's expression quickly changed to one of embarrassment. "That's none of your business!" She flushed red and could feel the heat creep up her neck.

"Sure it is! Is it worth it? Do you enjoooooy it?" She prodded, poking at Hermione.

Hermione suppressed a smile. "It's good."

"Just good? C'mon Hermione!" Ginny encouraged.

"Yes, yes, it's good! Are you happy? He's really really good." She said, a smile breaking out on her face. "See! I told you I'm rotten! I'm smiling at the thought of sleeping with an engaged man!"

Ginny giggled. "Okay, maybe a little rotten."

Hermione grabbed a pillow from a chair and threw it at her getting her right in the chest.

"Hey!" Ginny protested. "I'm just agreeing with you!" She laughed throwing the pillow back.

Hermione laughed as well. She couldn't help laughing with Ginny. It was times like these that she wished the witch was around more. "I do need to stop it though, don't I?" Hermione said, quickly sobering.

Ginny nodded her head. "Yes, my dear, you do."

Hermione nodded and thought for a moment before changing the subject. "Okay, enough about me, what wizard has your interest now?"

Ginny's smile grew. "Oh Hermione, he's _perfect_!" She squealed. "He's a beater for Puddlemere United and he's gorgeous!"

Hermione smiled at her friend's enthusiasm. She knew she could always count on Ginny, no matter what. And she knew Ginny always gave her the dose reality she sometimes desperately needed. But the best part about Ginny was that no matter how long they had been apart, it was always like they had never left.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Here you go! I needed a little bit of levity in there, even if it's only a little and at the end. I wanted Hermione to smile and have some fun. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy it. Please review and let me know! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed! It really means a lot. ~Chrissy**


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Draco sat behind his desk, staring at the crackling fire across the room. They would break for the holidays next week and the thought of going back to the Manor filled him with dread. He hated the idea of being without Hermione for 2 weeks but he would manage. He managed 5 years, after all.

She had been strangely withdrawn the past week. While she never outright avoided him, she didn't seek him out either, something that struck him as odd. There hadn't been a few days in a row in the past few months that they hadn't spent some time together. A sudden realization then hit him, of all things he missed most in the past week, it was their conversations that left the biggest hole. He enjoyed their talks and her insight. There was hardly a topic that she didn't know something on, with perhaps the only exception being quidditch, though how she couldn't be interested in the best sport in the world was beyond him.

With a frown, he compared her to his fiancee. Astoria was classically beautiful with high cheekbones, a small waist and dark sleek hair. But Hermione had character and was certainly pretty in a girl next door way. She had this warmth that Astoria never seemed to be able to project. And yes, Astoria was bright and intelligent but Hermione was brilliant. She challenged him in every way and made him think and argue and learn. She brought out a part of him that he hadn't seen since his last year at Hogwarts and only because she was there then as well. He was sure that Astoria could play the lady of Malfoy Manor with ease and competence but he wasn't sure she could play the role of wife. He had nothing against the girl, in fact she was perfectly polite and impeccably mannered in the couple of times he had spent with her, but she wasn't Hermione.

A light knock on the door took him out of his reverie and he smiled recognizing the knock as Hermione's. He jumped to his feet and made his way toward the door, opening it quickly and shutting it behind her, but not before a quick glance in the hallway told him no one saw.

"Hello." He said as he turned and smiled at her. A quick look at her hand and he saw that she was carrying a small package wrapped in green and red paper.

"Hello, Draco." She answered, not looking up at him and going to sit on the couch in front of the fire.

Draco went to his desk, opened up a drawer and grabbed the small wrapped box from inside and proceeded to sit next to her.

"I haven't seen you in a while." Draco said casually, as he took his seat.

Hermione looked slightly flustered but attempted a smile. "Oh, I've been busy, you know, grading papers before the break." She answered and Draco crinkled his eyebrows at her answer. She was obviously hiding something and the thought bothered him.

The fell into a silence, one with a bit of awkwardness and tension, something he hadn't experienced with her since the beginning of their 7th year. Not know what else to do, he handed her the wrapped box and smiled at her. "Happy Christmas, Hermione."

Hermione smiled genuinely back and handed him the box she held. "Happy Christmas, Draco." A look of sadness crossed her face as he took the package but she quickly concealed it, putting the smile back.

Draco motioned for her to go first and she delicately peeled away the silver bow and then the silver paper. She opened the box to find a necklace, the charm a deep blue circular stone with a silver heart carved into the middle. When she lifted it out of the box, the stone seemed to sparkle as the light from the fire caught it.

"It beautiful," Hermione breathed as she gazed at it.

Draco smiled and took it from her and clasped it around her neck. "It's a rare form of lapis lazuli. They say this is a perfect specimen. It was used for healing in the ancient times and it's still believed to have healing properties."

Hermione looked at the stone from around her neck and smiled softly. "Thank you Draco." She said as she motioned him to open her present.

Draco ripped the paper off his present and opened the box to see a glass ball sitting in it. "A rememberall?" He asked, slightly confused.

It glowed then; a bright red and he looked at it harder. "Did I forget something?" The ball went back to clear and he looked up at her, expecting an explanation.

Hermione chuckled but took the ball in her hand. "Think about me." She said as she held the ball up. Draco looked at her strangely but then seemed to concentrate on something; the ball turned a bright green.

"I have charmed it so that when you think of me, it'll turn green. And if I am thinking of you, it will turn red. And if we happen to be thinking of each other at the same time, it will turn purple." She said, handing the now bright purple ball to him.

Draco smiled at the gift. Now he would always know if he was on her mind.

"I wanted you to have something that would show you that you're not forgotten. Think of it...as a parting gift." She said, her smile disappearing from her face.

Draco looked up at her with a look of confusion. "A parting gift? What are you talking about?" He could feel his heart speed up as a sense of panic took over.

"Draco, you're getting married at the end of the school year. Did you think this could continue?" She asked, motioning between the two of them.

"But we still have 6 months!" He protested, the thought of losing her again overwhelming him. "And just because I'm married..."

Hermione shook her head. "Draco, I can't keep doing this. I can't keep sneaking around, looking to see who is watching, wondering if we'll be caught. I was not made to be the _other__woman_." She said as her emotion almost choked her.

Draco's face took on a look of panic as he grabbed her hands. "Hermione, we can figure something out." He pleaded.

Hermione looked into his eyes and took a deep breath. "Will you call off the wedding?"

Draco shook his head. "You know I can't do that. But..."

Hermione cut him off. "Then there's nothing to figure out." She said as she stood up.

"Thank you Draco, for everything." She said as a tear rolled down her cheek. "Thank you for reminding me what it's like to be happy, even in little spurts of time."

Draco jumped to his feet and grasped her hands again but didn't say anything, only pulled her into hug that he wished would never end. His brain ran at a mile a minute trying to come up with something that would keep her here, that would convince her to stay. But he knew that he sneaking around was getting to her, he could see it every time she looked around or pretended she didn't know him as well as she did. He never wanted to acknowledge that it wasn't hurting her, but he couldn't deny it now.

Hermione pulled away and gave him a small smile. "Have a good break, Draco. Enjoy your time with your family...and fiancée." She said as she fled his quarters.

He sat back down on the couch as soon as he heard the door close. He had lost her. Again. He rested his head in his hands as he felt his chest constrict and the prickling of tears well in his eyes. Perhaps it was time to start living for himself?

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Here's the next chapter! I hope you all are enjoying it as much as I'm enjoying writing it. I'm trying to think of other storylines for my next story, if anyone has any ideas, let me know! :) Please review! And thank you to everyone who has! ~Chrissy**


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Draco walked through the large doors of the Manor and was instantly greeted by a house elf that took his coat and bag. He looked around the foyer and wondered if this place would ever feel like home again. He sighed and turned to go down the hallway when he heard his mother call out to him.

"Draco? Are you home?" A soft yet fragile voice called out.

"I'm home, mother." He called back as she entered the foyer. He took a quick intake of breath when he noticed how much she had changed in the last few months. Her normally lean frame had become skinny and her normally pale face was ashen. "Are you alright?"

Narcissa waved off his question and enveloped him in a hug. "I'm fine, darling. Now, how's your job going?"

Draco wrapped his arms around her briefly and stepped back with a smile on his face. "It has been good for me, mother. I have enjoyed it." He responded, looking at her carefully, taking in all the changes.

"That's good." She smiled at him. "My, you're going to make such a lovely groom." She said as she smoothed the creases in his black button down shirt. "Now, go say hello to your father. He's in his study."

"Yes mother. I'll see you at dinner." Draco said obediently. As he turned, he started to walk quicker down the hall, wanting to get this talk over with. He was amazed at how, at 23, he could still feel like an 11 year old when it came to his father.

He stood outside the large wooden doors to his father's study and took a deep breath before rapping hard on the door 3 times.

"Enter!" He heard from behind the door and he stepped in, closing the door behind him.

Lucius looked at his son as he walked in and he frowned at the look of determination on his face. It was never a good thing when Draco was determined to do something.

"Welcome home." Lucius said as Draco stood in front of his desk.

"Thank you." Draco said politely.

"Well, on with it, there's something obviously on your mind." Lucius said, waving his hand in the air.

Draco nodded. "Father, I can't go through with the wedding."

"It's the mudblood again, isn't it?" Lucius asked in a bored tone.

Draco's eyes widened in surprise. "What? How do you know?"

Lucius barked out a laugh. "Draco, you think I didn't know about your dalliance with the mudblood when you were at Hogwarts? Why do you think we left the country? I was hoping you would be over your infatuation by the time we returned. I had rather hoped you'd have been over it by graduation, but alas, you were still disgustingly smitten."

"You knew? We left the country because of that?" Draco asked, anger starting to rise up in him.

"Of course I knew. And I knew it was a mistake to let you work there with her. But I was hoping you'd have matured and forgotten about this blight on your reputation."

Draco's balled his hands into fists as he attempted to control his temper. "Well, you can't stop me now. I am not marrying Astoria…"

"You will marry her." Lucius cut him off.

"And what makes you think…" Draco tried again.

"Your mother is dying." Lucius said succinctly as he leaned back in chair, a small smile of victory crossing his face.

"What?" Draco asked, his anger quickly dissipating. He had felt like the wind had been knocked out of him and he took a slight step back.

Lucius ran his hand through his hair, a gesture his son had picked up from him. "She's dying. We came back home because she didn't want to die in a foreign country."

Draco dreaded the answer to his next question but asked it anyway. "And what does this have to do with my marriage?"

"What do you think your mother's greatest wish is? It's to see her only son married and settled with a good pureblood wife. I arranged your marriage to fulfill your mother's dying wish. Are you going to take that away from her, Draco?" Lucius asked, already knowing that he had Draco where he wanted him.

Draco's head dropped then, knowing that what his father said was most likely true. The vision of his mother gaunt and frail popped into his mind then and it made sense. He felt his heart break for the two women he ever cared for in his life. And in that moment, he felt like he was losing both of them.

"So, will you marry Astoria or shall you tell your mother that she will die without that last comfort?" Lucius asked.

Draco picked up his head and inclined it slightly. "I will marry Astoria."

"Good. Her family will be here for Christmas Eve." Lucius said. "I hope you picked her up something expensive."

Draco turned and left the study, his legs feeling like they were made of lead. The thought of losing his mother was awful but the idea of letting her down and not giving her the happiness she deserved in her last years of life was unthinkable.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

Draco walked into the drawing room and nodded his head toward the people in the room. His parents were seated on a loveseat to the left of the fireplace while the Greengrasses were seated on a loveseat to the right of it. Astoria sat by herself on a couch that was directly in front of the fireplace, completing the "U" of seats. "Happy Christmas, Father, Mother, Lord and Lady Greengrass, Astoria." He said, greeting everyone in order of precedence.

Everyone murmured their hellos and greetings before he took his seat next to Astoria.

Astoria smiled brightly at him and he gave her a tight smile and inclined his head. Astoria frowned slightly but turned her head back to the adults in the room.

"So, Draco, how is your position at Hogwarts?" Maximilian Greengrass asked as Draco settled himself into the seat.

Draco paused for a moment, a flash of Hermione crossing his mind. "It is going well, sir. I find that I enjoy the position."

Madeline Greengrass smiled at him. "How is the staff? I've heard that it has been overrun by Gryffindors, unfortunately."

Draco forced himself to smile back. "The staff is adequate." He answered shortly.

"Well, that's good. We were thinking about a winter wedding for the two of you but thought your school schedule may be too hectic." Madeline continued.

Draco nodded stiffly. "Yes, it would have been very difficult." He hated the conversation and the last thing he wanted to talk about was his forced wedding.

"A summer wedding will be lovely. Just think, next Christmas you two will be celebrating as a married couple." She commented, making Draco feel even more uncomfortable.

He shifted in his seat slightly before he answered. "That's right."

Astoria frowned again as she watched her fiancé answer the questions. His clipped tone and slight look of annoyance didn't get by her notice. She stood up quickly and decided to get some answers. "Excuse me, but I hear the garden is lovely this time of year and I would love for Draco to escort me there before dinner." She said as all eyes turned to her.

"Oh yes, Draco, take Miss Greengrass to the garden. I decorated for Christmas." Narcissa said, smiling at the couple. "Don't forget a warming charm."

Draco got to his feet, thankful for the relief from the conversation. "Certainly, Mother."

A house elf instantly showed up, carrying a coat for Draco and a cloak for Daphne. Draco took the cloak and placed it on her shoulders before putting on his own jacket. He offered her his arm and walked through the house, exiting at the back of the house.

The garden was large and lightly dusted with snow. There was an evergreen in the middle, covered in ornaments and icicles. There was a path that went around the garden with decorations on both sides ranging from small trees to gifts to ice sculptures. Draco cast the warming charm quickly and escorted her to the path.

"My mother takes a lot of pride in her garden." Draco said, trying to start a conversation.

Astoria looked at Draco before stopping him in the path. "Do you want to marry me?" She asked bluntly.

Draco's eyes widened slightly. "It'll be my honor." He answered quickly.

Astoria shook her head. "Draco, is there someone else?"

Draco looked away. "Of course not."

"You're lying." She said smoothly, continuing their walk. "I don't expect love in our marriage but I would like respect and honesty."

"I don't see why it matters." Draco answered honestly.

Astoria nodded. "I suppose it doesn't." She thought for a moment. "You're going to go through with the wedding, right?"

Draco's mouth went dry and he swallowed thickly. "Yes, I will."

Astoria heard the hesitance and she stopped their walk again. "Draco, my family needs this marriage. And I know your family does, too. I'm not asking for monogamy, just discretion. So please, go through with this wedding. If not for us, but because of our families." She practically pleaded with him. Her family desperately needed his family's money. They had spent a fortune trying to rise in society's rank and Daphne's dowry had cost them almost everything they had.

Draco looked down at her in surprise. It didn't cross his mind that her family needed this marriage as well. Her green eyes looked up at him imploringly. With all his heart, he wanted to tell her that no, he didn't plan on going through with the wedding but he squashed it down quickly. He nodded his head at the girl. "Of course I'm doing this for my family." He answered, while attempting to smile at her." I have no plans to call off our nuptials."

Astoria searched his face and finally nodded. She continued their walk in silence, glad that he would go through with it but a little disappointed that his heart already belonged with someone else.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'm getting through these chapters, still trying to stay a couple ahead of what's published, but it's difficult! I hope you guys are enjoying it so far! Please review! :) It's Christmas season...so I'll probably write a Christmas themed story. If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know! ~Chrissy**


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Harry watched her flit around her kitchen getting lunch prepared for the two of them. He noticed that she seemed happier than the last time he saw her yet somehow emptier as well. It was an odd way to describe her, but he felt that it fit. A sandwich appeared in front of him as Hermione placed it on the table.

"Here you go, Harry. Roast beef, lettuce, and mayo on white, just the way you like it." She said as she sat across from him with her own sandwich. "It has been a while since I last saw you."

Harry smiled back at her. "Yea, between our two schedules, it has been about a month." He said as he took a bite of his sandwich. "As it is, I'm surprised they gave me Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off this year.

Hermione nodded. "I used to think that this break was great as a student but as a professor I realize that it's a necessity. This past month has been so hectic; I've barely had any time to do anything other than grade papers."

"So, you like it then?" Harry asked, already knowing the answer.

"Oh, Harry, I love being a professor. I love teaching." She gushed. Teaching was the first job she had tried that really fit with her. She couldn't imagine being anything else anymore.

Harry smiled. "You found your calling, then. I'm so happy for you." He said genuinely. "So, how's Malfoy?" He asked tentatively.

Hermione's back straightened and she looked away. "I don't want to talk about him." She answered bitterly.

Harry was a little taken back by her response. Something had obviously happened between the two of them and it hadn't ended well. Perhaps this meant that she would finally move on. He changed the topic quickly. "The Weasleys invited us over for Christmas tomorrow."

Hermione scrunched up her nose. The thought of being around a ton of children and Ron and Lavender wasn't all that appealing. She had nothing against the couple, but they took the idea of public displays of affection to a whole new level. She couldn't help feeling uncomfortable being around two people who practically looked like they were shagging or wanted to be shagging all the time.

Harry chuckled. "Yea, me too. I love Ron, but even I can't stand being around him and Lavender. And of course, Ginny will be there." He said the second part a little quieter than the first part.

"I saw Ginny a few weeks ago. She came by." Hermione added knowing that it wasn't so much Ginny Harry didn't want to see, but whatever boyfriend she brought with her. This time it was another quidditch player. Hermione imagined it was hard to keep a relationship while on the road which is why it seemed like Ginny had so many, but she knew it was still a bit tough for Harry.

"How is she doing?" Harry asked sincerely.

"She's doing well. I guess her team actually has a chance at the Cup this year." She answered, trying to remember that part of their conversation. "Say, Harry, why don't you spend Christmas with me and my family. It's nothing special and we do a lot of muggle traditions, but it's fun."

Harry's face lit up. "That would be great, Hermione. That sounds really nice, actually." He was excited about muggle Christmas traditions as it had been such a long time since he celebrated Christmas with muggles.

Hermione smiled. "Great, it'll be a lot of fun." She answered, happy that he said he'd go. This Christmas would be a good Christmas, she thought to herself.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

Hermione noticed the change immediately. They were back at school for a week and Draco had neither talked to her nor acknowledged her existence. It hurt, but she knew that she had done it to herself. She saw him look at her at meal times when he thought she wasn't paying attention but other than that, there was no sign that the two of them even knew each other.

She sighed as she walked down the hallway after dinner. She wondered if he had moved on during the holidays, if being with his family and fiancée helped him get over her. She hadn't even noticed him until he bumped into her, her books falling to the ground.

"Oh, sorry." Draco said as he leaned over to pick up the books.

"Thanks." Hermione murmured as she took them back in her arms. She watched as Draco's eyes lingered over her face for a moment before nodding his head and continuing down the hall.

She reached her quarters and threw her books on her desk angrily. _I should've been paying better attention._ She chastised herself. As the books hit the desk hard, she noticed a piece of parchment that had been sitting between two of the books. A piece of parchment she was sure she didn't bring with her. Gently, she pulled the parchment out of the pile and opened it up to see his elegant scrawl.

_Hermione,_

_I sit here staring at the rememberall that is currently emitting a bright purple hue. I know that I have been distant and I want you to know that it's killing me as well. However, it has come to my attention that my mother is in ill health and her last wish before she passes is to see me married to Astoria, so I'm afraid I will be continuing to live for other people for now. But, I want you to know that, no matter what happens in my life, it was always you and will always be you. _

_-Draco_

Hermione read the letter and almost threw it into the fire. _How dare he tell me that he *has* to marry Astoria yet in the next breath tell me that it's always been me. _Quickly, she put down the paper as a tear escaped. She wiped it away quickly.

She put the letter away in her drawer and picked up a fresh piece of parchment. _Dear Draco…_ As soon as she put those two words down, tears started to flow and she knew she couldn't stop them.

"Hermione?" A voice called from her fireplace. "Are you there?"

Hermione quickly wiped at the tears before responding. "I'm here, Harry." She called, her voice cracking.

Harry heard the tears and came through quickly. "Hermione? What's wrong?" He said as he located her at her desk. He ran over to her and gathered her up in his arms. "What's wrong?"

Hermione sobbed into his robes, shaking as she hugged him tighter. He led her to her couch and sat her down, keeping her face tucked against his shoulder. "It's alright, Hermione. I'm here." He soothed as he rubbed her back.

After what seemed like hours of crying but was more like 10 minutes, she started to sniffle and get herself under control. She snuggled in his arms, comforted by his arms around her and the warmth of his body. "Will you always be here, Harry?" She hiccupped through her tears.

Harry kissed the top of her head and gave her a squeeze. "Always, 'Mione. Always."

"You'll never leave?" She asked, her eyes starting to droop from all the crying.

"Never." He answered quickly. "I'll never leave you."

A small smile graced Hermione's lips as she rested her head against his shoulder. Her eyes closed, her body exhausted from the outburst of emotion. She felt safe and assured. Perhaps that was more important than the roller coaster of romantic love?

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Ok, ok, I'm sorry...I've been missing forever and all my stories have been on hiatus. Lets just say between life and writer's block...its been tough to get things down on paper. I hope I can continue them...I still have the endings to my stories in my head. If I could just figure out how to get there. It's been a while, so please review, let me know if I've picked it back up alright. Thanks! ~Chrissy**


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